a moody day

今天我很不开心…
第一就是家里的事,
第二就是因为你…
就当我很自私,
很无聊,
很霸道,
我只是想你陪我久一点,
很伤心的时候又找不到你,
只能一个人哭,
哭完了,
你打给我问我什么事,
我已不想说了….
我说话比较直接,
我说离开你是真的,
所以你要有心里准备…
这样,当我离开了,
你才不会那么伤…
可是每当我说这些,
你就不开心…
我不是说你不成熟,
只是你把爱情看得太重了…
不要放酱大希望在我身上…
会弄到失望越大…
告诉你我家的事后,
我觉得我不配和你一起…
我的家是多么地乱…
如果你有多点时间陪我就好…
如果不论我开心伤心都能和你说就好…
如果我们没有在一起更好…
至少,你不得空陪我,
我不会伤心…
我知道大家新年都比较忙,
所以每天我都对自己说,没关系,
让你快乐点,
可是原来自己做不到,
一直都希望24小时的时间都是我的,
我们吵很多次了,
为你哭过很多次了,
每次又是打给你,
你说”宝贝,很忙,等下找你”
电话盖了,
我哭了,
为什么我要讲话都没有机会,
为什么没机会告诉你一整天发生的事?
过不久,你就会打来,笑着叫我宝贝,
为什么你可以没有当一回事呢?
每次和你讲话讲一半,
你都插东西进来,
要跟你讲的东西,
你又没有听我讲的东西了,
每次和你说了我不开心的东西,
你敷衍带过叫我不要想太多,
我需要的不是这些,
我希望你明白我的感受…
你的笑容只是一个表情,
并不代表你真正快乐,
你开心不开心可以跟我讲吗?
我知道你不会跟别人说你不开心的,
可是可以给我知道吗?
我真的爱你,
我不想这样影响我们的感情
比,原谅我有时候直接的话不小心伤到你,
对不起,
我会改我不好的性格,不会让你难做,不开心

sorry baby

我知道我的宝贝一直都希望我写blog,
可是我很懒…
好啦,今天就写啦…
今天去到学校,我发现我和婷真的没什么话说了,
自从那天,她说会出卖我,我很伤心,很失望,
我知道她这样说没有错,可是也是会伤心的,
谁叫她一直是我最好的朋友,
那件事后,我发现原来我不能只对阿婷一个好,
全部我都应该对她们好,
婷变了,自从拍拖了就变了,
本来她们说我都不认为,现在真的了…
我少了一个那么好的朋友…
原来,我不能那么相信人…
可是随便啦,我对人好就可以了,
她们要害我就算咯..
我会一直把她们当好朋友…

比每次都叫我写blog,
可是他知道我很累的吗?
他每次都是酱,
跟我说没关系没关系,
其实心里很想我写…
他是不是男人哦?
要就要,不要就不要,
说了没关系还一直怨我没有写,
他知道这样弄到我很辛苦吗?
我都说了得空就写,
每天都跟我说很失望我没有写,
我对你更失望啊,
不了解我,每次都怨我,
我很累的啊….
我今年考试啊,
你以为我像你们有时间玩玩,
你们读kolej的要怎样就怎样
可是我不是啊,我进不到大学,我就要重新来过,
我不能浪费时间,
你到底了解我吗?
我读书真的很累…很累…
可是还是要读下去…

我….
不是那种喜欢谈情说爱的人
和我一起,要给我有自己的空间,
我不是24小时和你sms或者谈电话那种人,
我可以说情人在我的心中不是第一的,
我和你不同,
我不可能把爱情看得那么重.
我生存的目的不是谈恋爱,
我要读书,成功…
可是你做了我的爱人,
我就一定对你很好…
对不起,
我爱你..
我希望你明白我

to mr.leong

Today wake up at 7am..haiz…bi call me at 6.40 dy but I still sleeping…haha
Very sleepy..then wake up..then done at 7.15am..teng come fetch me…
I dunoe why last time I need wake up so early lo..stupid..actually 15 min can done..
Then I go eat breakfast with teng then go scool….haiz..today quite bz coz 2 days I didn’t go to school dy..fan la…all ppl ask me dis ask me tat..haiz..then ask me go find teacher..haiz..y I wan be the monitor…fan..then 11am..bi call me…
I answer..haha..my teacher is in front of me…but she dun k de..i hepi la when he call me but I cant talk too long then I close his phone..haha..
Today after school go eat pan mee with zuki n jiahui..then go latihan sukan..i terpilih leh..haiz…my rumah must kalah de lo…coz I cant run de…
Yesterday, I quarrel with with bi..coz him..haiz..first time he didn’t want to talk with me…my fault…haiz…I very scare bi dun wan choi me lo..stupid la even…
I know I hurt him….sorry bi…I felt very sorry to him..he treat me very gud..
When I go raub, he take k me…even I dun like his life like dis…actually I like stay at home…coz very comfortable…n I like meet with my genting frens…Saturday nite,v go out with his school frens…it was the most happiest day when I go raub..i dun like go out with samseng..haiz..but his brothers very nice de…
Tats all la…haha..bye bye

even...n mr.leong kar weng

i at raub now...writing my blog at my dear house...

mr.leong kar weng is my boy now...

i never imagine that i will couple with him....

haha...but i love him now..

he treat me very gud...

he is the one who will always think about his gf...

miss his gf..

treat his gf gud..

luckly i go genting...if not i wun know him...

he is the reason y i wan continue my job at genting

he is the reason y i go work everyday

i love him...

i dun k wat others ppl say about me...

as long as i love him...

he is 17..n i m 19...

but i dun think so this will b the problem between us...

i believe him....n i love him

quarrel with winds

today i quarrel with him....
is bcoz mr.leong...haiz....
.he scold me in the car..
.dis is his first time...
i dunnoe wat i wan to say but he keep ask me to say something...
.i know if i keep quiet he will more angry..
.but i dunoe wat i wan say....
i feel tat he does not love me anymore...
but he say he love me..
.is it call love? y i cant feel it?
i very scared him n i dunoe him...
he is not the one i know b4...
y he bcum like this? what can i do?
i know is my fAULT...but....
y he bcum like dis?
he is the one i love
n also the one who hurt me so...
today i really very hurt....y u dun understand me?
or v still not understand each other?
how down m i...do u know?
i realy love u...
but he dun wan believe me....
how v can continue if no believe between us?
i dunoe...i really dunoe....
can u love me?
i really love u....
but u dunoe

blogging

A very long time i didnt write my blog....i m very lazy n lazy....
i had finished my final exam..ya..i get no 1 in my class...i wish this will continue untill upper6...but my cgpa only 2.75 only...haiz..siez...need study hard in my PA
i work at casino now...i think i choose a wrong decision coz i was very hate there....
the ppl inside casino all very kejam....i work in stress everyday....i feel very scare everyday...the stupid old lady"who haven marry yet" but i think she wun get marry coz she was a BAD OLD aunty....no taste ....bad woman....i hate her..i hope i wun saw her again..old lady

a new life for me..

a very very long time i didnt write my blog...
i break with ice already....break after one month...haiz...
i was sad at first..now i hear he couple le...ok lor...as long as he hepi..i dun k anymore...
i m active in koperasi...but i hv a lot of work even i m just a small ajk..i wonder y...if i m pengerusi..i will do la...
i m finish my exam on july..quite ok..no fail..n quite good la...
i love economic much...haha
holiday i will go genting again..hope i wun c him anymore...
tata all la...bye bye